Sabrina

I think one of the worst emotional experiences, as a human being, is when one has to ask themselves, if they are being treated the way they deserve.

Deserve. That word, when used, usually has the meaning of entitlement. What we think we should have because of who we are. It's quite arrogant, when I think about it. I believe, I deserve whatever is coming to me, good or bad. If I'm allowing/keeping myself in something that isn't healthy, or is unfair to me - until I learn otherwise, I deserve it. 

There is also beauty when realization strikes, in a moment. The moment when you think, "I deserve more than this." It's one of the most beautiful releases I've ever experienced - it's extremely empowering. What's even better than that, is being able to give yourself the more, without being dependent on someone else; liberation.

So far, this summer, I've been watching a lot of my favorite movies, and spending a lot of time with myself (sometimes in silence). I'm in the middle of finishing one of my favorite movies, Sabrina. Not the Audrey Hepburn version, but the one with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormond. I grew up loving that movie. In a nutshell, a love story about a woman who has a long time crush on someone, who never notices her. For her, she knows he is the love of her life. As the movie unfolds, things begin to change and life leads her exactly where she is meant to be.

We spend so much time focusing on what we believe is for us, instead of living moment to moment, and trusting that what is meant for us, will never run away. I recently told my father, I'm no longer going to try to do anything. I'm going to spend my days listening and trusting that whatever The Universe has for me, is already mine, whether I've arrived to it, or not.

I is smart. I is kind. I is important...and I am worth it all. Pleading anyone, or anything to see my value, was never deserving of me, to begin with. Letting go of what you think you deserve, is the best thing you can do for yourself. For it is, already, much greater than anything you could ever think of. What's yours is yours, and it will always find you.

Sabrina taught me the meaning of 'deserve'.