Bow Out, Gracefully

On April 3rd, is my 13th wedding anniversary. I can't wait to celebrate it, with my husband, as it will be a healthy farewell to our marriage. We are separating. 

As much as we love one another (and love working together, which, we still will), we are just no longer compatible. To be honest, I don't think we ever were. We were married just 2 years after it was legal for me to buy my own alcohol, in the States. We barely knew how to drink, without getting drunk. How could we possibly know enough of ourselves, to understand what kind of person would be compatible for one another? But, there was love - it's all we needed (at the time). We are the best of friends. We make each other laugh. We both are obsessed with all things Disney. We love traveling and eating out. We've had some crazy adventures, all while in love. Unfortunately, love just isn't enough - especially as you get older. 

I'm 36, and he, 37. We've both realized we want more out of life, and what we have together, while fun and loving, has halted both our progress (individually and as a couple). We aren't quite sure when we stopped growing together, and began growing apart - it's been a few years now. I think mostly, because we always have a good time, it's really easy to look over the more serious side of things.

We've always communicated differently, particularly, when it was serious. At first, you just accept it as "...that's just how I am. It's just how he is." But, after many years, that well dries out and the thirst gets too real. You find yourself (I don't want to speak for him), looking for all kinds of ways to change, shift, adjust yourself, to keep the peace - not rock the boat, as it were. 

I truly believe, the beginning of a healthy relationship requires two boats, that are naturally, headed in the same direction. Nothing to be forced. No pulling. No stopping. No waiting. Just an even and respectable pace, that when side by side, creates the most still and peaceful journey, which only enhances each sail. At some point, a mutual love and passionate desire is formed, and a bigger boat is shared. However, the smaller boats are not to be neglected. They are to be properly cared for and maintained, by their owners. Only now, each owner has extra help, if ever needed. Also, the solace and safety of a bigger boat. Everybody wins. Everybody grows. Free to be exactly who they are, every.single.time, without fear. Anything else, ain't livin'.

Upward and onward.